Accept reality and move forward
by NeoTyson
Summary: Reupload: After dreaming of an alternate life where he is happy with the love of his life, Matt struggles with the decision to either tell Claire his true feelings or accept reality and move forward. Takes place AU Defenders Matt x Claire Clairedevil pairing. Matt & Jessica friendship


Disclaimer: I do not own anything Marvel, D.C or anything I borrowed from other media

 **Accept reality and move forward**

Today was it; Matt Murdock was finally going to marry the love of his life. With his best friend Foggy who is dating Karen and is his best man alongside his other friends Jessica and Luke, who are together, with Danny and his girlfriend Misty Knight, as well as his parents, they all came to support the lawyer on his special day. The music finally hits, and all the attention turn to the bride and all Matt could do was smile widely at the lovely sight he was seeing. In the most beautiful dress ever, Matt watches as his wife to walk towards him as if an angel was sent down to earth to be with him. Once she stood facing him, the wedding proceeds with the two exchanging vows and giving each other their rings.

The music finally hits, and all the attention turn to the bride and all Matt could do was smile widely at sight he was seeing. In the most beautiful dress ever, Matt watches as his soon to be wife walk towards him as if an angel was sent down to earth to be with him. Once she stood facing him, the wedding proceeds with the two exchanging vows and giving each other their rings.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife; you made now kiss the bride." Father Lantom said in a proud tone as Matt remove his wife's veil to reveal her heaven like face.

The two lean in and kiss each other passionately with everyone cheering them on. Once the kiss ended Matt's wife looks into his eyes and tells him softly, "I love you so much, Matt."

That's when Matt could feel tears coming from his eyes as reality set in. His vision went from pure normal to, as he would describe, a world on fire with his friends and family disappearing as well as the scenery around him. Realizing what this meant he holds onto his now wife tightly and whispers before she turns to fire, "I love you too... Claire."

* * *

*End of dream*

Matt wakes up with tears in his eyes with his vision back to his usual blindness. "Just a dream. Hell, that's probably the only way that all would ever happen." Matt mutters with sadness in his voice. In his dream, Matt lived in a world where he never became blind and both his parents weren't around which meant he never became Daredevil. The main highlight in his dream is that he was happy and was going to be even more pleased with Claire being his wife.

"Claire..." Matt begins to think back to the night that Claire had found him in a dumpster and saved him from what could have been the end for him. From there the two started to grow a bond despite them leaving two different worlds.

Flashback

 _"You worry about me?" Matt curiously asks while Claire continues to patch him up._

 _"What if I were?" Claire questions back not wanting to give away her answer to fast._

 _"I would tell you that I am a big boy, and not to be," Matt said with a smile that masks his true feelings._

 _Right, and that's why you keep ending up here?" Claire questions with a smile._

 _"Well, maybe I just like the sound of your voice," Matt admits knowing that even without being able to see that Claire is a beautiful woman and her voice confirms that for him._

Flash in

"Her voice always does sound like peaceful." Matt smiles softly at the sound of her voice. He didn't even have to know how she looks like to know that she was beautiful inside and out and with a personality that seems to match his. At that time Matt was slowly warming up to the nurse to where he told her his actual name after she got kidnapped."

Flashback

 _"Matthew..." Matt whispers causing confusing to form on Claire's face._

 _Sensing that she was not sure what he meant, Matt clarifies for her. "My name is Matthew."_

 _She nods in understanding, and since Matt couldn't see, he misses out on the acceptance that came across Claire's face now knowing his actual name._

Flash in

Matt slowly gets up and makes his way to the bathroom to take a shower while at the same time still going through memory lane of his time with Claire. The next day after telling her his name, Matt had to ask Claire to stay with him until he finds a solution to keep her safe. He expected her to downright refuse his offer and would have to find an alternative way to protect her, however, she jokes saying that is one way to ask a girl to move in leading to Matt to kiss her lips. He couldn't help but feel nervous at the moment despite her returning the kiss but felt relieved when she said, "I was wondering when you were going to do that." That gave Matt a clear signal that she was into him the same way he was into her.

That all changed when Claire started questioning Matt's brutal methods when it came to finding Fisk, leading to Claire to say the words that hurt him to this day.

 _"I just... I don't think I could let myself fall in love with someone who is so damn close to becoming what he hates."_

 _"Your right, you shouldn't."_

"Why the hell did I respond like that!?" Matt yells at his self as the hot water rush over his body. He knew the answer, but that didn't make him feel good losing someone as unique Claire.

When Claire told him she was leaving for a while, that hurt Matt even more because the reality is that he can't stop being Daredevil, but because of his choice he loses the close people in his life. They both met up on a few occasions after the day she left with Matt wanting nothing more but to let her entirely in and help him with his human side. However, with everything that was going on at the time with Elektra returning, and the evil organization the hand it made things hard for Matt to let anyone in especially when Elektra's death occurred.

"Accept reality and move forward," Matt said quietly turning off the shower so he could get dress. Once he got his outfit on, he hears a loud knock on the door.

"Who is it?" He calls out while heading towards the front door.

"Who do you think?" said an all too familiar voice.

Matt sighs while opening the door to let the visitor in. "Jess."

"You know I don't like you calling me that Murdock." Jessica Jones points out making her way inside Matt's place. Around the time The Defenders came to be Matt and Jessica develop a bond due to their pasts even though it comes across like they can't stand each other at times.

"I will stop calling you that when you quit referring to me by my last name and knowing you are a stubborn woman I don't believe that will change anytime soon," Matt mentions walking behind her with a smirk.

"Whatever," Jessica said rolling her eyes and taking a seat on the sofa.

"So what brings you by?" Matt asks from the kitchen. He gets a beer from the fridge since Jessica likes to drink.

"Bore out of my mind actually, Trish has plans, and you know how hard it is to get in contact with Luke and Danny since they start that stupid Heroes for hire crap." Jessica shrugs and takes the beer from Matt.

"I'm surprised that Luke has any time to do that with other stuff going on," Matt mutters catching Jessica's attention as he sits down as well.

"What you mean by that?" She asks curiously.

"Nothing." Matt attempts to dismiss the topic, but Jessica already figures out what he is referring to.

"Drop the mask, you still avoiding her are you?" Jessica questions with a more demanding tone.

Matt turns away from her and says, "That's none of your concern."

Jessica scoffs before saying, "You're right it's not but seeing how you are a complete idiot about it, and I consider you both my friends, a word I don't use lightly, that makes it my business."

Matt shakes his head in frustration because Jessica had been on his case about the situation between him and Claire. At one point Claire requested Matt's help to get Luke out and was able to keep Luke from serving time in prison successfully. Once they left the courthouse, Matt learns of the relationship between her and Luke causing reality to set in that any chance of winning her heart again was over. The negative thoughts push Matt to distance his self from her to allow her to be happy.

With all that in mind, Matt tries to hold back his true feelings. "I don't see how. She's satisfied with him, and that's the result."

"Why the hell won't you just talk to her?" Jessica had met Claire after her encounter with Luke when Kilgrave took control over him and force him to attack her. Claire had nursed him back to health afterward.

"I can't; I have to move on and let her be. I had my chance, and I blew it." Matt tells her.

"You are not even aware of what has happened in her life. You call me stubborn, but at least I'm not acting like a coward." Jessica points out which only angers Matt. "How the hell am I acting like a coward?!"

"By avoiding the one person who you truly love and not even attempting to let her know how you feel. You can take on ninjas, but you can't face the one person who still gave a shit about you before we all came together!" Jessica snaps.

"It's not the same," Matt said in a low tone not appreciating Jessica pushing the issue.

"How is it not!?"

"BECAUSE I DON'T DESERVE HER!" Matt finally blows up and shocks Jessica in the process as he explains his response. "She had put up with me and tried to help me be a better person, and I lost that chance to be with her the very second she went to Harlem and met up with Luke. She was so happy when I help him out of jail, and I can't blame her for moving on for he's a better man than me."

Jessica looks at the man in front of her and could see how much not being with Claire significantly affect him. He had mentioned to her about his short time with Karen and Elektra, but things didn't evolve with the Hand situation and the fact that Karen left once Matt told her he was Daredevil. "What exactly makes a better man than you automatically?"

Jessica hopes that he and Claire would end up back together base on what she knows, but that won't happen with Matt avoiding Claire because he feels like she has completely moved on. "What exactly makes a better man than you automatically?"

Matt signs before answering. "Luke can take punches; he's not afraid to find happiness despite not wearing a mask to where people know who he is..."

"So that's it." Jessica out of nowhere interrupts him.

Matt looks up at her with a confused expression. "What?"

"You are afraid of actually being happy with someone. That old man got you so twisted in that whole lone wolf personal to where you won't allow yourself to believe that someone is willing to love you just the way you are and help you with whatever you are dealing with." The old man that Jessica is referring to is Matt's former mentor Stick who at one point told Matt that he needed to cut the people close to him out of his life to effectively be Daredevil.

Reminded by Stick words, Matt shakes his head in amusement thinking how he can bring disaster to the best things that happen in his life as he told Karen on their date. "Kind of hard to think otherwise when you check my record on past relationships."

If it weren't for the fact that she could break him with her super strength, Jessica would knock some sense out of Matt right now. "That was the freaking past Murdock! You can't let what happen back then define you and keep you from wanting happiness."

"Why do you care so much for me to pursuit Claire again anyways?" Matt questions considering Jessica never been on his case about her up to now so it began to bother him that she wouldn't drop the issue now.

Jessica takes a deep breath and sits right beside Matt, an action that catches him off guard. "Believe it or not, I have grown to care for you, and if I ever hear you say that to others, I will deny it and give you a beat down you won't forget. The point is since we have worked with each other and I have gotten to know Claire more; there are things that I know that I can't repeat considering you could find out on your own if you talk to her."

Matt couldn't believe that Jessica Jones admitted something like that. While he was aware of the bond between them, Jessica isn't the type to get her feelings like that. He also became curious about this specific information that Jessica knows about Claire, but unfortunately, the only way he can find out is by talking to Claire herself.

 _"Maybe I should confront Claire about my feelings towards her. Even with the result being that she doesn't feel that way towards me I can get it out of my system and move forward since she probably doesn't want nothing to do with me after telling her."_

Matt rubs his forehead before turning towards Jessica asking, "If I tell her how I feel and get rejected, causing pretty much whatever I have left with her to be ruin beyond repair, will you drop the subject and never bring it up again?"

"I am confident that she won't reject you and if she does I will put on that ugly blue and white costume for a full month I promise." Jessica groans remembering when Trish suggested wearing that suit as a superhero theme.

Matt interest grew even more. "You are sure about this? Too bad I can't see because that will be so priceless to witness."

Jessica smirks at the sudden display of confidence from him. "I don't see you heading out to meet with her to make this happen."

Signing Matt stands up and stretches. "Might as well get this over, I have avoided her for a while so she probably really upset with me or no longer cares about me. Get ready to wear that costume, Jess."

Watching him leave, Jessica laughs and yells out, "Whatever Murdock." She then takes out her phone to make a quick, urgent call.

* * *

*Claire's apartment*

Matt arrives at Claire's place feeling very nervous for a few reasons. Having a conversation about his real feelings for her could damage whatever relationship they have left. On the other hand, he wasn't sure if there is anything else to mess up considering he made it a personal mission to avoid her.

 _"Why I feel like I'm going to regret this?"_ Wanting to get this over with, Matt softly knocks on the door hoping she is at work so he can use the excuse that she wasn't home and that it's a sign that he shouldn't confront her. As usual, luck doesn't seem to be on his side as he hears footsteps heading towards the door leading to the door to open with Claire being on the other side.

"Matt?" She asks in a surprised tone with a confused expression her face.

Matt scratches the back of his head and greets her nervously. "Hi, Claire. Can I come in or is this a wrong time? I didn't want to use the back window for you made had thought I was injured, so I figure why not act normal and come through the front if you allow me."

She lets him in, which throws Matt off guard especially with her heart beating normal... to standard. "Are you okay?" She asks once he made his way to her couch.

"Yeah no need to patch me up or anything," Matt answers still thinking that Claire behavior is still too calm.

"Good." Claire punches him in the shoulder, and while Matt usually used to take punishment from thugs and robbers, Claire's fist hurt in a different matter that told him she is upset at him.

"I guess I deserve that," Matt suggests rubbing his shoulders.

"Yes, you did deserve that for completely going ghost on me," Claire responds trying to not snap at him.

Matt takes a seat and tries to explain his action. "Well to be fair, it seems like you were doing just fine without me..."

Claire interrupts him by bringing up a significant point. "Have you completely forgot what I told you before I left? I will always be there when you need me."

"True." Matt turns away from her out of guilt.

"So why did you feel like I would be better off without you when I worry about you?" Claire questions with her arms folded.

"I... um..." Matt struggles with his words.

"Matt, tell me." It almost sounds like Claire was begging him to open up to her.

"Because when I saw you with Luke after helping him with his court case you seem happy and I didn't want to interfere in that. He's a lucky guy after all." Matt tells her honestly making Claire shake her head from the realization.

"I should of know that was the reason you pull away. Matt even though we had our problems doesn't mean I wanted you out of my life especially that one time I thought I wasn't going to hear from you again, that scared me as you should remember. Now imagine how I felt when you completely stop any contact with me... that hurt." Matt could sense that Claire is fighting back her tears causing more guilt to form in him.

"I'm so sorry Claire I truly am. I never intended to hurt you. I guess giving you space was a pretty bad idea then."

"It was idiotic, but I forgive you. Just promise not to that again no matter what because if something happens to you and I wasn't aware of it..." Claire could no longer hold back from sobbing.

Feeling that now is a good time as any to comfort her, Matt moves towards her and hugs her allowing her to cry a little on his shoulder. "You will be aware from now on, and besides unlike the others, I am the first supposedly hero patient that was under your care." Matt smiles a little hoping to lighten up the mood.

"What you mean supposedly, you are a hero. A stubborn brooding one, but a hero nonetheless." She said while wiping her eyes.

"Geez, thanks," Matt said with sarcastically.

"Anytime." Claire manages to laugh a bit. Silent grew between the two with Matt remembering why he came here and the dream that he had and wonder should he still say anything about it or not.

"What are you thinking?" Claire asks gently snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Um, I was wondering if I should tell someone in my life something important."

"Oh that sounds important, who's the person you need to tell this secret to? Someone, I know?"

"Yeah you know them but I rather not say who for personal reasons. Though you could help me decide if I should tell this person or not." Matt offers, hoping that it could help him determine if he should share his feelings or keep them to his self.

"Maybe but I would need to know details for me to make a judgment call," Claire said raising an eyebrow.

"I realize I made a mistake of holding back feelings for someone and I hoping it's not too late to fix it." Matt somewhat confesses without giving away too much.

"Is it Jessica or Karen?" Clare questions out of curiosity.

"I can't tell you who the person is, remember?" Matt slightly laughs by how she thought she would catch him slipping.

Claire rolls her eyes in annoyance by his deflect. "You do understand by not giving me full details I can't help you with your problem."

"To make it simpler, just tell me should I go for it or not," Matt said.

Claire sighs in defeat. "I would say go for it. Life is too short now in days especially when you always out making Hell's Kitchen a better place."

She did have a point; anything could happen. Matt decides now it's better she finds out about his feelings, rather than holding it in any longer.

"At least I have some backup if I need it." He then uses this opportunity to start explaining his feelings but in a slower burn. "I had a fascinating dream last night."

"What was it about?" Claire interest peak since Matt isn't one to share a lot that goes on in his life.

"I dreamt that I was in like a whole different universe where both my parents were alive and I never went blind. I was getting married with friends and family there supporting me. Then I saw the person I was marrying, and she looked like an angel. I knew I was going to be a happy man, but I woke up back to reality and honestly, I started crying from how real that dream was." As Matt explains the dream, the pain from waking up from it came back.

Claire surprises him by rubbing his arm softly as a sign that she is here for him. "You think if things had happened base in your dream that you wouldn't have become Daredevil?"

Matt did wonder if that was the case as well. "It's hard to say. Stick wasn't there so that could have played a major factor and while Jess, Luke, and Danny were in it, I couldn't tell if they had powers or not. Not saying I'm the cause of them getting abilities or anything."

They both chuckle at that until Claire notice that Matt left off specific details about the dream. "I see you didn't say who you were marrying or if I was in the dream or not."

"Yes, you were in the dream as well in a way you wouldn't expect." At this very moment, Matt readies his self as he does his best to look at her to confess the truth.

"Claire the person who I was marrying in the dream that reminded me of an angel is you. You were the love of my life, and I was happy to call you my wife. I believe that part of the dream happens because I want a future with you, I couldn't tell you since you are with Luke and it's not fair for me to try and win you back after I ruin my chance in the past. So I avoided you thinking it would help me get over my feelings, but they wouldn't go away, which led to the decision of telling you and hopefully not messing things between you and me."

Claire became speechless after hearing his confession. While secretly she had a feeling Matt was going to admit to her that he still has feelings towards her, she didn't expect him to say it that way. Matt could hear her heart beat fast which he wasn't sure if that is a good sign or not until she starts crying on his chest.

"Your crying which means I mess things up..." Before he could say any more, Claire cuts him off by passionately kissing him on the lips, and while a lot of thoughts rush through Matt's mind, he returns the kiss.

Claire pulls away from the kiss with a soft smile. "God do I miss those lips of yours."

Matt, still confuse and daze over the kiss, manage to get out, "But... Luke?"

Claire thought Matt looked cute when acting like this "Well, Mr. Murdock if you haven't been avoiding me, actually use those super senses of yours or talk to Jessica you would have known that Luke and I aren't together. Yes, we were somewhat in friends with benefits type relationship but no coffee involved and we still do care about each other."

"Wait, coffee?" Matt questions, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Inside joke. The fact of the matter is that I was waiting for you to come to your senses but you push me away so if it's anyone's fault for you being jealous of Luke is you." Claire gets up to sit on his lap and wrap her arms around his neck.

Hesitantly, Matt wraps his arm around her waist, loving the feeling of this moment. "I was foolish about all of that. I just thought that with me being so close to the darkness that I would be dragging you down if I open up to you. I understand now that you do support what I'm doing for the city, but you just were scared of what I could become in the process. I will tell you now that I don't think I will be that guy and I will be a lot more careful when I'm out as Daredevil and hold restraint and even call for help if need..."

To stop Matt from rambling, Claire places a finger on his lips and smiles widely. "Shhh I know all that, why else would you have finally gotten the courage to face me. I'm here for you Matt, and I'd do anything to make you happy, you have to let me so I can love and care for you the way you deserve it." She said in the most loving tone that Matt has ever heard.

"I love you, Claire." was all Matt could say to tell her that he is willing to let her do all that in their renewed relationship.

"I love you too Matt." She looks him in his eyes despite him not being able to see her back directly, and kiss him passionately again with Matt happily kissing her back while somewhere Luke and Jessica spied on them feeling accomplish of their plan and begin to kiss each other as well.

* * *

 **AU: My second Daredevil story but this time a one-shot. This was a more personal one, and I felt that Matt and Claire were the best characters to use to tell somewhat a precise moment that has to happen in my life but in my case, I was too late, but I'm moving forward in life and have to be that supportive guy. I guess to not go in depth if you have someone in your life that loves you for you and always has your back when no one else will hold on to that person. For the worst feeling ever is to realize what you had with that particular person only to let someone else have him or her.**

 **I enjoyed writing the Matt and Jessica part, and I hope that they get enough screen time together during the defender's base on the pictures I have seen of them. I have my Matt/Jessica story out so feel free to read and review if you are interested. Also, this story is very AU so it would take place sometime after the Defenders series with slight changes from the previous shows which are why some moments made be off.**

 **I hope Clairedevil fans enjoyed this especially since I wanted to write Matt/Claire story ever since Luke Cage came out. I much rather Claire date Matt over Luke but not because of comic history, but I enjoy the chemistry between the actors of Matt and Claire on screen and off though that's my opinion.**


End file.
